Dear Country, please develop some confidence.

So after ranting about plastic surgery in Korea the other day, I went into my third grade class and told all the girls that they are beautiful no matter what. I told them they could get plastic surgery if they really really wanted to, but I don't think they need it. Hope it got through to one or two at least. They didn't seem to react, but maybe they didn't know how to react? Maybe they were like, "what does the crazy white lady want now?" And maybe I'm technically undermining the spirit of the culture to "improve yourself" wherever and however possible, but whatever.

I think I've made a connection here. The other day my Kindergartners did this English play:

(This song has been stuck in my head for about a month, thank God it's over)
They are almost ready to graduate next week and go into first grade in March... sniff! I've become so close with all of them and I'm definitely going to cry at graduation.

Anyway after the play during pictures, I ended up next to the most uncomfortable parent who had confronted me at the very beginning of the school year last April to ask me why his son didn't like speaking English at home. He had said he was curious about the "attitude" of my KINDERGARTEN class. I retreated behind Homeroom Teacher's back who I'm pretty sure rattled off something about how kids will be kids and he probably just wanted to play at home but he was doing fine in class. Later in the year the mom came in to monitor my class and make sure I wasn't being too hard on him, because he didn't like the constant studying he was doing at home (wonder what the problem there was). So when I saw this dad during pictures, against my better judgment and because of awkward tension I said to him, "Your son is really smart! He's done so well!" Which is mostly true. My luck of the draw this year landed me with a bunch of high achievers and the son in question has trouble keeping up with them sometimes but overall does just fine. The dad looked surprised, though. "Really?" he said. "Do you really think so? Because he doesn't think so." What? "He says to me, 'Daddy, I think I'm a fool!'" Geez, kid. But first of all, who believes their 6-year-old when the kid says he thinks he's a fool? What do 6-year-olds know? So once again I was taken aback by this dad's annoying bluntness and lack of understanding of Kindergartners -- who reinforces that belief? Don't you know that if you tell a kid they're smart they'll believe you and they won't have learned helplessness?? I brushed it off. "No, he's really smart! He is!" I said. "He's still in Kindergarten. He really shouldn't be so hard on himself." I probably could have added, "Sometimes he expects answers to fall on him from the sky so he doesn't want to put the work in to figure it out, but when he does the work he understands as well as his peers" but let's face it I'm just not so eloquent in the moment.

Are Korean parents are really so hard on their children? First the mom tells her 16-year-old (in my last post) about how she NEEDS plastic surgery on her eyes so that judges will think she's beautiful. Now a dad listens earnestly to his son's claims that he's not smart, when said son hasn't even gotten to grade school yet! Well, at least what I said seemed to make a difference, because I made sure to tell the boy yesterday in class that he was smart, and I never want him to think otherwise. He said, "yeah, I know, my dad say." Then he was more attentive than usual and helping other kids with the answers.

From what I understand, Korea developed really, really fast. Like 50 years ago this was mostly countryside with no cars and very little technology. It seems like maybe the struggle to keep up with the rest of the world is starting to get to everybody's head -- actually I'm pretty sure it already has.

In the wise words of Zoolander, "I guess I have a lot to ponder."