So after ranting about plastic surgery in Korea the other day, I went into my third grade class and told all the girls that they are beautiful no matter what. I told them they could get plastic surgery if they really really wanted to, but I don't think they need it. Hope it got through to one or two at least. They didn't seem to react, but maybe they didn't know how to react? Maybe they were like, "what does the crazy white lady want now?" And maybe I'm technically undermining the spirit of the culture to "improve yourself" wherever and however possible, but whatever.
I think I've made a connection here. The other day my Kindergartners did this English play:
(This song has been stuck in my head for about a month, thank God it's over)
They are almost ready to graduate next week and go into first grade in March... sniff! I've become so close with all of them and I'm definitely going to cry at graduation.
Anyway after the play during pictures, I ended up next to the most uncomfortable parent who had confronted me at the very beginning of the school year last April to ask me why his son didn't like speaking English at home. He had said he was curious about the "attitude" of my KINDERGARTEN class. I retreated behind Homeroom Teacher's back who I'm pretty sure rattled off something about how kids will be kids and he probably just wanted to play at home but he was doing fine in class. Later in the year the mom came in to monitor my class and make sure I wasn't being too hard on him, because he didn't like the constant studying he was doing at home (wonder what the problem there was). So when I saw this dad during pictures, against my better judgment and because of awkward tension I said to him, "Your son is really smart! He's done so well!" Which is mostly true. My luck of the draw this year landed me with a bunch of high achievers and the son in question has trouble keeping up with them sometimes but overall does just fine. The dad looked surprised, though. "Really?" he said. "Do you really think so? Because he doesn't think so." What? "He says to me, 'Daddy, I think I'm a fool!'" Geez, kid. But first of all, who believes their 6-year-old when the kid says he thinks he's a fool? What do 6-year-olds know? So once again I was taken aback by this dad's annoying bluntness and lack of understanding of Kindergartners -- who reinforces that belief? Don't you know that if you tell a kid they're smart they'll believe you and they won't have learned helplessness?? I brushed it off. "No, he's really smart! He is!" I said. "He's still in Kindergarten. He really shouldn't be so hard on himself." I probably could have added, "Sometimes he expects answers to fall on him from the sky so he doesn't want to put the work in to figure it out, but when he does the work he understands as well as his peers" but let's face it I'm just not so eloquent in the moment.
Are Korean parents are really so hard on their children? First the mom tells her 16-year-old (in my last post) about how she NEEDS plastic surgery on her eyes so that judges will think she's beautiful. Now a dad listens earnestly to his son's claims that he's not smart, when said son hasn't even gotten to grade school yet! Well, at least what I said seemed to make a difference, because I made sure to tell the boy yesterday in class that he was smart, and I never want him to think otherwise. He said, "yeah, I know, my dad say." Then he was more attentive than usual and helping other kids with the answers.
From what I understand, Korea developed really, really fast. Like 50 years ago this was mostly countryside with no cars and very little technology. It seems like maybe the struggle to keep up with the rest of the world is starting to get to everybody's head -- actually I'm pretty sure it already has.
In the wise words of Zoolander, "I guess I have a lot to ponder."
I’ve been thinking about creating a blog because I like writing. I’ve done it in the past and it just never seemed to work out. I realized recently that this was because I always try to narrow it down to one theme, then I get bored with that theme. My thoughts are too ADD to stay on one topic. I’m a linguophile living in South Korea teaching Kindergarten through 3rd grade with 2 weeks off per year to do what I love most, traveling. I have a really cool mountain man-y fiancé who loves me for me and likes what I like. I used to be really sick with IBD and now after a shit ton of surgeries and medications I feel so much better and I have an ileostomy that behaves most of the time. Because I used to be so sick, I’m really interested in what I could have done (but didn’t) to improve my situation and maybe that’s why I hope I can study Nutrition sometime soon, but in the meantime I’m really focused on eating Paleo-friendly and only putting food in my body that nourishes it, and hitting the gym hard three times per week. I studied Psychology in college and that made me NOT want to go into the field, but I still really like to analyze people. Combined with my love of traveling and culture, that makes me a potential linguistic anthropologist? But alas that would probably land me in academia and I’m not so sure that’s where I want to end up. I’m a progressive but I try not to give my opinion on that unless it’s asked for, or if I feel like it’s really needed in a conversation (maybe that’s where I can get in trouble), and I have a weird word-vomit when I get around religion. Basically I’m not a fan. I don’t have anything against people who are, but I just really don’t like those people trying to spread it.
So that’s me in a nutshell.
I guess I’ll make this first thingy about what I’m doing in Korea. Like many white Native English speakers looking for a job in their home country, I found the Korean job market pretty appealing and jumped on the financial opportunity. Fiancé and I came for the cash, and we’ve stayed for the cash. We each save about $1000 per month (out of our $2000/month salary), which we frivolously spend on kickass vacations to Southeast Asia and don’t do a very good job of compensating for when we come back. Dr. Mom pointed out to me, “Patrice, that’s actually not very much money” but it was more than I’d seen before after getting a bachelor degree, and like I said we like to travel. (Also rent and insurance are paid for so life is much less complicated.) We absolutely could have gotten better jobs with public schools, i.e. more vacation time and way less contact teaching time -- like less than 30 hours, but this job has its upsides too. We work with 8 other foreigners and they’re all pretty cool dudes. And our kids are stinkin’ cute. I mean they are just adorable. Cue video evidence.
(p.s. this was 6 months ago so their English is much better now. Maybe I’ll try to take one last video of them before graduation to first grade next week)
We also just spend a lot of time having fun on the weekends. This is our first real 9-5, so on Fridays it feels like we just ran a marathon. The big difference between our style of teaching and real (certified) teachers is that we don’t actually plan anything. True, we have to write “monthly lesson plans” where we say what we might get done that month in every book at the Kindergarten (give or take several pages in either direction), but otherwise when we go into class it’s a free-for-all. I literally ask my students what page we left off on because I’ve just come from another class and have no time to go pee much less check where we were in the book. Planning periods? HA! Don’t make me laugh. We work at a private school, which means it’s run by profit motivation! How do you make more money? TEACH MORE KIDS. So we pretty much teach back-to-back 8-10 classes per day. Some of those are blocked out so it’s two classes at a time, and we get a lunch and a snack break. Like I said though, we have our perks. Like how tonight I got a bouquet of flowers from a parent, or sometimes our boss buys us pizza! We also got free jackets last year… and a field day where we won nuts! … There were cashews… and pecans… involved…
So we teach at a Kindergarten in the morning and a hagwon in the afternoon, which means kids come to MORE school when they finish school every day. Don’t worry, they get vacations… yeah, two weeks per year! During the two months they (and public school teachers) have off in the winter and extra few weeks in the summer, they still have to come hang out with the waygooks (foreigners, close to the Korean word for alien) and work on their English. Oh yeah, they go to Math, Music, Art, Science and History hagwons too! They must REALLY love school! (They don’t.)
I don’t have any video of my afternoon hagwon kids. Mostly because the place is not quite as joyful as the Kindergarten. It’s just a building with classrooms where the kids get hit on the palms with a stick (important: by the Korean teachers) if their test scores aren’t good enough.
YOU KNOW WHAT’S CRAZY? Korean women and eye surgery. NO. Correction: Korean girls and eye surgery. I know a Korean girl who is technically 16 (18 in Korea but that’s another whole story) and she got double eyelid surgery. Many girls get it even younger. Still others get it as a graduation from high school present. This particular girl I know with whom I occasionally hang out (begrudgingly — teenagers are weird!) goes to a high school for the arts where she is specializing in voice. During HER vacation this year, she spent most of her time practicing singing and several hours per day on the piano, because who wants free time? Anyway, from what I understand, last year her mom said, “Jaina, you must get eye surgery.” And Jaina said “No! Why?” and her mom said, “because when you audition for operas, they will not just judge you on your voice, but also on your face.” Jaina agreed that this was a great reason and thus the surgery was done and she’s very happy with the results. For better or worse, most people don’t recognize her the first time they see her afterward. Excuse my ethnocentrism, but sheesh. I’m not one to just throw out a “sheesh” but I feel like it’s pretty appropriate here.
I realize that in the East this is much more acceptable and probably even encouraged to improve your looks if it’s possible, but sixteen?? She’s a freshman in high school. Isn’t her face still changing? I’m pretty sure I looked way different when I was a freshman. Like maybe my nose was too big for my face. I mean I definitely grew into my face and figured out what features work for me.
The main thing about this country that tends to weird out me and Fiancé, and a lot of other waygooks (foreingers/aliens), is the fixation with appearance. You think you’ve seen appearance fixation? Come to Korea. They put the average selfie-obsessed teenager to shame. I’ve gotten pretty used to it now, but when we first arrived a year and a half ago I was appalled at how many people were constantly taking pictures of themselves. I remember stealing a look at one guy’s phone gallery and my worst fears were confirmed when I realized that pretty much all his pictures were the same shots of him with mostly the same background and facial expression, because why take one picture when you can take 50? Credit where credit is due though, Samsung makes really good smart phones with great cameras.
Well I could keep going and talk about how ginormous the phones here are but that would probably take me into phone-buying and awkward coffee dates with Koreans who speak about 15 words of English and then I might talk about coffee shops and how many Koreans have never spoken to a white person before and seem to get a little starstruck sometimes. Or maybe this is like overcompensation for racism? Oh man. So I’ll just cut myself off here.
